Sunday is Mother’s Day. A day of celebrating the wonderful women in our lives we call “mom.” But for some of us this can feel like a dreaded day. For some of us – especially those of us grieving our mothers or children – it can feel extremely heavy and trigger a huge upsurge of grief. We may even already be feeling this as it swiftly approaches.
This Sunday will only be my second Mother’s Day without both my mom and my mother-in-law. In our house this Sunday there won’t be one, but two adults, pasting on a smile, trying to be grateful for the little things, especially during this pandemic. Two adults trying to stay in the moment of celebrating the day, all while avoiding the huge gaping hole we feel from not having our mothers here. We could move through the entire day in this mindset; never figuring out a way to clear the fog away to see the joys, because of the pain of not having our mothers in our lives.
You might be wondering how to “clear the fog.” I have many ways I do this for myself.
I encourage you to connect with any one thing you might possess in common with your loved one that can’t be taken away. Whether it’s a trade or skill, your character, your sense of humor, your morals or values. Maybe it’s the art of baking that perfectly wonderful blueberry pie. Maybe it’s your curly hair, brown eyes, freckles, or dimples. These things can never be taken away from you. They are a lasting connection you will always have to your loved one. Celebrate all the things that you still share with them.
On Sunday, in addition to connecting with the very personal things my mom left me with, I am planting Forget Me Not flowers with my kids. I will do this with a heavy heart, tears in my eyes, and a smile on my face.
I choose to reset my mind, in order to honor my mom. I choose to celebrate her existence on this earth, for without it, I wouldn’t be here, and subsequently neither would my children!
My life has forever been changed by the loss of my mother, but my life was also forever changed because Carol walked this earth: because she existed.